I'm proud of me.
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Hey y'all,
The new day job has meant I have great health insurance for the first time in, no lie, more than 20 years. For example, last year, I paid over 3,000 dollars for a healthcare deductible of 8,000 dollars.
Yeah, I know. Ugh.
But now I do, and so I'm making a list of things I want to get checked out. You know, small annoying things you put off because they are probably nothing, so you don't want to spend the money if they are. And one of those things is the decision to go back into therapy.
I lost my therapist when I moved here four years ago. But I was in a good place and was starting a new thing, and was awash in positive endorphins. Therapy? I don't need no stinkin' therapy!
And then 2020 happened, and we all experienced deep loss and trauma, and it was incredibly isolating. Literally every coping mechanism I knew fell away during the height of the pandemic. I gained 30 pounds that first year. It would have been good to have a therapist about then, but crippling depression plus lockdowns and telehealth and, oh yeah, crappy insurance. And starting a new therapist is always a process. There is a lot of telling your stories to be known, which takes time. In my experience, it's usually 6-8 sessions before I feel like it's "working."
In 2021, I turned a corner and found my groove. Lost 50 pounds. Developed healthy habits. Learned how to live in a pandemic. Found my writing groove again. And, among other things, started this newsletter. I'm awash in positive endorphins.
But I won't be fooled again. I know that the hard times will come again - they always do for people with my kind of brain. So this time, I will be ready. I booked an appointment with a therapist. Not because I'm in trouble but because I want to be ready the next time I'm in trouble. And therapeutic relationships take time to build.
This feels like an incredibly responsible thing to do, which has not been my M.O., let me tell you. I'm proud of me.
A reader wrote in a while back and thanked me for something I had written and said they appreciated how intimate my newsletters were without my oversharing. Maybe my talking about my decision to seek a therapist is oversharing, but I don't think so. Rather, I want to normalize getting the help you need. And we all need help from time to time. And if we can name that, and normalize that, it makes it easier for people to ask for what they need.
And that, I think, is a good thing indeed.
Writing
This week on the blog, I wrote about how there are two kinds of people in this world, planners and pantsers. I'm a pantser.
And a year ago, I spent a great deal of time talking about introversion and what I do to manage my energy.
My Monday morning newsletter about finding beauty in a world where it's hard to find is still chugging along, and has done for more than seven years now. It's undergoing a few changes (like this one went through a few weeks ago, and that's taking a bit more time than I had planned. but if you want more Hugh in your inbox, that is one place to get it.
ETC.
Even though it's slanted to more visual artists, I found this list of resources for creative folks to be helpful.
Like many people who spend a lot of time on a computer, I like having two monitors. When I first tried it, it was a game-changer. Instead of flipping between tabs, I just looked left, then right. But a disadvantage is that it does take up a lot of real estate on my desk. So a few weeks ago, I bought this wide monitor instead. I can adjust the window sizes to suit me, I can go split screen without it feeling cramped, and I get half the space on my desk back. So far, I'm liking it.
William Shatner came back from space filled with "overwhelming sadness."
Thank you!
Like all my projects, this newsletter is a reader-supported publication paid for by my members. I can only do it because people like you buy me a cup of coffee or forward this letter to someone else. And if someone did forward this to you, you can get your own subscription here.
Take care,
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